Mar 14, 2009

What stage is your relationship at? The Resistance Stage

What is it?

This is the toughest cycle of all as it's all about arguments and happens as you both battle and struggle with the balance of power in your relationship.

The good news

Regardless of how tough it may be, resistance is the way most of us work out if a relationship is worth all the effort.

Tempting, as it is to throw away what you have out of sheer frustration and anger, Denise Knowles suggests a better way to cope is take a deep breath and think of your relationship in the following way. 'When you have good times,' says Denise, 'consider that you are paying into your relationship bank balance, and when you have bad times you are simply drawing from it.'

The idea being to not panic and run when things get tough but balance up all the good against bad and use this to work out if it's worth saving or not.

The bad news

'Couples fight because we all have own belief systems so when someone has a different view or tries to assert their view over ours, we feel challenged and hostility sets in,' says Denise Knowles.

You'll know you're moving on

Thankfully you'll know you've finally made it through when suddenly your differences matter less and you begin to feel connected again.

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