Mar 27, 2009

The errors men will NOT admit

Women expect their men to be perfect. The better a man treats a woman, the higher the expectations get.
This is simply because we want him to be flawless. Even when there aren’t any big issues in our relationships, we start picking at the minor ones, which seems irrational to our partners.
We’ve composed a short list of the errors that our beloved men would never admit, but that never go unnoticed by us.

He doesn’t follow the conversations.

Sometimes women put too much emotion while talking about a daily situation at work and tend to go into too many details about how irritating and unfair certain things were. His reaction consists of nodding his head, pretending to be listening. As soon as you ask him “Are you listening to me?” you get the answer “Of course, you just said…” and then he repeats your last words that he has remembered. However, this doesn’t mean that he is following the conversation. You have to simply accept the fact that usually men have bigger things on their mind and are not interested in the gossips that you’re so eager to share with them.

He’s checking out other women.

You saw the way he eyed the cleavage of that foxy waitress and then discretely followed the curves of the chick right in front of you. Most of the times you choose to ignore it, but if you are in a bad mood, jealousy starts eating from the inside and quickly balloons into a scandal. The reaction that you get is usually a surprised look from him and the question “What is the matter with you? I accidentally looked into her! Would you want for me to just keep my eyes shut?” He will never admit that another woman is attractive in front of you, because he knows what your reaction will be. And so do you.

He forgot your anniversary.

If this happens and he hasn’t mentioned anything throughout the day, what usually follows is that you are going to start yelling at him for being so forgetful, which will result in his leaving and returning in the evening with a big bouquet and an expensive gift, saying something like “You didn’t think that I had forgotten our special day, did you? I wanted it to be a surprise”.

Commenting in front of his friends.

Men share much more than we do. Some even more. If you find out that he has talked with his buddies about moments of your intimate life, that will make you furious, but he will deny it has ever happened. You should keep in mind that you too share a lot of private details about your life with your girlfriends while claiming that you don’t. It seems that you’re even.

He doesn’t help with the housework.

If someday you decide to start a fight because he never helps around the house, he will think of, at least, 3 times that he has picked up the table, has washed the dishes or has vacuumed the apartment. And he did it for you! Wow, what an accomplishment! Almost all men believe that housework is restricted to women only, which is why they consider every ‘female’ work they’ve done as a compromise.

He falls asleep in front of the TV.

He is watching an interesting movie or a sports game. However, half way through it, it becomes apparent that he’s in the middle of his second dream. As soon as you reach for the remote to switch it off, he lifts his head and says “Don’t, I am watching that! No,I haven’t fallen asleep?!”

He’s not good at the “Man’s work”.

Not all men are good at fixing the oven or piece together the cabinet. However, all men claim that they can. Why? Simply because they’re certain that this is their field of expertise. Personally, I can think of several examples that prove that sometimes women are better at this than their male partners.

I am sure that you can think of numerous stories, where our strong partners don’t admit their flaws or errors. After all, they are the strong gender. There is no room for week streaks. At least not in their own eyes.

Dinner for two – strategy and tactics

Clothing, behavior and the location of the date of the couple give away their intentions. The invitation itself is simply an occasion for the two to get intimate.

What strategy should you choose and what female tactics should you apply depending on your intentions towards the man?

Going out

For a man - choosing to meet you on neutral ground indicates that he has serious intentions and is not afraid to be seen with you in private. Don’t take the initiative under any circumstances.

Sit face towards him with your back against the main light in the room. This way you stay in the shadow while being able to follow his reactions. At the same time the fact that you are facing most of the people makes him understand that he is by far not the only man in the world and he has to work for your interest.

The main advantages of the restaurant flings are the eye flirt and the spicy conversations. At the end of the evening be sure to thank for the wonderful night and ask him to walk you to your place. However, keep your distance as you don’t want him to assume that you are paying for the dinner with sex.

At his place

If a man invites you over to his home, this means that he is willing to do anything for you. Sit by his side - this way you don’t have to make eye contact, but you can touch him. Again, don’t take the lead - he invited you so let him make the effort. Don’t hurry and announce that you’re not wearing any underwear - an appropriate time for this spicy detail would be when he kisses you or places his hand on your knee. Regardless of how events unfold after that, don’t spend the night at his place.

At your place

Only opt for this choice, if you simply wish to have a single wonderful night with the guy.
Be sure to wear something that comes off quickly and serve the dinner in the bedroom. A good choice of food would be fruits and light wine as the dinner is simply a ground to get him in your bed. It won’t take too long to get what you want.
In the morning treat him to some coffee, but outside of the bed, compliment him and send him on his way. However, don’t expect a following call after this event. If you really want him, you can make the first call - it’s often the case that he is simply shy and thinks that he’s not up to your level.

If you want things to get serious

Dress up with clothes that fit and flatter your body, but at the same time are not too provocative. Let him understand that he has to work harder, if he wants to know what’s underneath them. Don’t sit next to him.
Choose a spot at the table that provides an easy getaway in case of more imprudent jokes from his part. If he doesn’t attempt intimacy throughout the dinner that means that he isn’t planning on doing so at a later date either. Most probably he is either up for a romantic evening or he is nervous.
After dinner you can start doing the dishes. He will either try to pull you away by kissing and touching you (keep the game going) or he will compliment you on the coziness of your home (to which your reply can be a sigh and a remark that there’s no one to change the light bulb in the bathroom). The third possibility is for him to leave straight after the dinner and if this is the case - don’t bother trying running after him (it’s not that you need such an asshole in the first place!).

Mar 18, 2009

What Clothes to Wear on a First Date

Deciding what clothes to wear on a first date is not an easy decision to make. The most important piece of advice to remember is, always plan in advance what outfit you are going to wear. Along with planning, choosing the most appropriate outfit to suit your shape, style and the location of the date is also vital. If you are unsure what clothes are best for you, it is a good idea to ask your friends or family members for guidance.

The first thing to take into consideration is the location of the date. This is useful as it will help you decide whether to go for a casual look or a formal look. Always dress in suitable attire for the date location. If you know you are going to a fancy restaurant, then you are required to have more formal look as opposed to going to the cinema, where a casual look is sufficient. Although a casual look is suitable for many date ideas, this doesn’t mean you don’t need to make an effort. Regardless of the date venue, it is essential that you always make an effort to look your best.

Overdressing for a date can unfortunately make you look a little silly and stand out. There is no point in wearing a party dress or smart suit and tie if you know you are going bowling or to the cinema. On the other hand if you know you are going to an expensive restaurant, wearing jeans and a t-shirt is not a good idea. You may find yourself in a situation where you don’t know where your date is taking you. In this instance it is usually better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed, although there is no need to wear a tuxedo or a ball gown. If unsure you can always accompany your outfit with a stylish jacket or cardigan which can be taken off depending on the type of date.

When choosing your outfit, make sure it will show off your best features and conceal the features you aren’t as happy with. There is no point in wearing an outfit that shows off a part of your body you are uncomfortable with, this will only result in drawing attention to that particular area. If you happen to have wide hips or a large bottom, don’t wear clothes that are tight in these areas. Choose clothes that will emphasise other areas of your body. You can use bright colour clothing or even accessories to draw attention away from an area of your body, or perhaps even draw attention to a particular area.

It is important to take into account your personal style and your age when choosing an outfit. Don’t try to change your image completely when going on a date otherwise you will feel the need to keep up with the new image for future dates. It is okay to try something new, such as a new hair style, new shoes, or even a new outfit, but don’t be too drastic by going for a totally new look. It is a bad idea to dress older or younger than your actual age. You need to be realistic and dress appropriately otherwise you risk making yourself look ridiculous.

Many people think covering up their body with large baggy clothing will disguise them, but this is not true. This will only result in making you look uncomfortable and draw attention to you. Wearing baggy clothes is just as bad as wearing clothes that are too tight. Clothes that are too tight are not a good idea, especially if you are going out for dinner or going on an active date, such as bowling. Not only are they restricting, tight clothes can often make you look larger than you actually are, not to mention the fact you may end up bulging out of them at the end of a dinner date, which is not ideal.

Many people choose their perfect outfit and then forget about what shoes they are going to wear. It is just as important to choose appropriate shoes as it is to choose an appropriate outfit. It is essential that shoes are clean, match your outfit and fit properly. The last thing you want is to be in pain with blisters and look uncomfortable. Make sure the shoes are a comfortable fit, and if need be wear them prior to the date just to break them in.

Looking your best on a date doesn’t mean you need to be wearing the latest fashion or wearing labels from head to foot. It is okay to wear a fashion label, just as long as you don’t go over the top and have designer labels showing on every garment. You risk looking like a fashion victim which could imply that you are high maintenance. This can be off putting for many people who may believe that you are out of their league.

Once you have chosen your desired outfit, it’s time to make sure it is in pristine condition. Try on your outfit, preferably in advance and not on the day of the date, just to make sure it doesn’t have any stains or rips and fits you properly. This will give you time to wash it if necessary and even choose a different outfit. You may have forgotten about a stain you got on it last time you wore it, or even put on a few pounds since. The last thing you want is to be late for a date and panic because you forgot to check your outfit was in perfect condition.

It is recommended that you always have a back up outfit to hand as you never know when it may be needed. Your spare outfit should also be tried on when trying on your desired outfit, just to make sure it will be sufficient if anything should happen to your preferred clothing. Your first choice of outfit may be in perfect condition, but you need a backup outfit just in case something happens to your chosen clothes, such as a make up stain, or an aftershave spill.

There is no need to panic when trying to decide what to wear on a date. Regardless of the outfit you choose to wear, it is important that you feel comfortable wearing it and that it suits your body shape and style. If you feel comfortable in your clothes, you will appear more relaxed on a date and spend more time enjoying yourself rather than worrying about how you look. As long as you are clean and tidy and look like you have made an effort, then you are sure to make a great first impression.

WHY Do You Want Your Ex Back?

Every time I stumble across an article, video or ebook entitled, "How to Win Your Ex Back," I wince. These postings are all over the web: How to Get Your Girlfriend Back, I Want My Ex Back, Win Back the Love of Your Life.

My question is, why would you want to?

Now realize, I'm talking about relationships where the girl dumped you, not the other way around. If you were the one who did the breaking up – probably because you thought the grass was greener on the other side – and now you want her back, that's an entirely different situation that I'll address in a future article. For now I'm talking only about you as the dumpee.

The comedian Larry Miller, in one of his specials, told a piece about people who get divorced and then re-marry the same person they got divorced from. He said it's like going to the refrigerator, grabbing a carton of milk, taking a whiff and finding that the milk has gone sour. "Whew!" he said, "that milk's no good. Well, maybe if I put it back in the fridge, it'll be good in a few days."

The same idea applies to the relationship with your ex-girlfriend. If it didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time? Because you've both grown? Because you both made mistakes and have had time to reflect? Because you both realized you were destined to be together? Because it always happens in the movies?

Be honest. How many people do you know who have broken up, got back together and stayed together? I can tell you how many I know: none.

Yep, in the past I've tried to salvage broken relationships, too. And you know what? Once they're broke, they're never right again.

The only realistic option is to get on with your life.

I'm aware this notion won't be at all popular with those ever-hopeful, lovelorn guys who believe that by wishin' and a'hopin' and thinkin' and a'prayin' they'll manage to get that ex-girlfriend back into their arms once again. They would rather waste days and weeks and months moping around, whining and pleading with their former love, rather than simply accepting the fact that good things occasionally do come to an end.

You might ask, why can't it work the second time around? There are many reasons, most of which lie below the surface at a subconscious level. The main reasons, I believe, are these: too many painful memories, basic incompatibility, and the fact that now there's a breakup precedence. Once you've broken up it's just too easy to break up again at the slightest provocation.

With all the available women out there why do guys obsess over the one that got away? I believe it stems from insecurity. Somehow, the fact that one particular woman wasn't attracted enough to remain in a relationship with them reflects badly on their self-identity. They feel diminished. They feel like less of a man.
Many men, subconsciously believe that ALL women must be attracted to them, to one degree or another. We go through life cherishing the belief that every woman we meet secretly wants us. When one makes it painfully obvious that she doesn't, especially one with whom we've had a relationship, it's a massive blow to our ego. Not a very reasonable belief, but that's the male subconscious for you.

Rather than humiliating yourself by whining and pleading with her to take you back, rather than lapping up unrealistic advice on dating forums and prolonging the agony, resolve right now to move forward with your life. Accept the fact – and trust me, it is a fact – not every woman is attracted to you and not every relationship will work out to your satisfaction.

I do heartily recommend examining your failed relationships as honestly and rationally as possible. We learn much more from failure than we do from success. Be brutally honest with yourself. What did you do wrong in the relationship? What did you do right? Maybe there are beliefs, habits or behaviors you should change, though probably not the ones your ex suggested.

I can tell you one thing that every single guy who wants desperately to get his ex-girlfriend back needs to work on: insecurity.

Think about it. If you were truly secure in who you are, if you had high self-esteem, and some girl broke up with you through no fault of your own, why would you ever consider chasing after her? She dumped you, man. No longer wants to see you. (Though she might have tossed you the "I really want to stay friends" bone simply to ease her conscience.) A guy with healthy self-esteem would let her go with a fond farewell and immediately get on with his life.

So get on with your life. Exercise. Go out with friends. Flirt with other women. Throw yourself into your hobbies. If you don’t have a hobby, get one. Do something, anything, rather than sitting home and feeling sorry for yourself. Lay the past to rest right now and move forward. Tomorrow will be a better day, if you’ll let it be.

Mar 14, 2009

What stage is your relationship at? The Resistance Stage

What is it?

This is the toughest cycle of all as it's all about arguments and happens as you both battle and struggle with the balance of power in your relationship.

The good news

Regardless of how tough it may be, resistance is the way most of us work out if a relationship is worth all the effort.

Tempting, as it is to throw away what you have out of sheer frustration and anger, Denise Knowles suggests a better way to cope is take a deep breath and think of your relationship in the following way. 'When you have good times,' says Denise, 'consider that you are paying into your relationship bank balance, and when you have bad times you are simply drawing from it.'

The idea being to not panic and run when things get tough but balance up all the good against bad and use this to work out if it's worth saving or not.

The bad news

'Couples fight because we all have own belief systems so when someone has a different view or tries to assert their view over ours, we feel challenged and hostility sets in,' says Denise Knowles.

You'll know you're moving on

Thankfully you'll know you've finally made it through when suddenly your differences matter less and you begin to feel connected again.

What stage is your relationship at? The Commitment Stage

What is it?

This is the united stage of couple-dom - or as Bridget Jones once said, you've turned into a 'smug married'! In fact you are so secure with each other that you're probably wearing the same clothes and finishing each other's sentences.

The good news

Whatever you decide make sure you are both doing it for the right reasons and not just because you feel it's something you have to do. If you're both really excited about the future, then this will keep your relationship buzzing.

The bad news

Be careful, warns Tracey Cox. 'Be sure to instigate serious discussion on what you both want when planning things and don't just assume you're on the same page.' If you don't, then it could cause problems.

You'll know you're moving on...

If one of you is more thrilled than the other with plans you're making, then you're heading for what's known as the resistance stage.

What stage is your relationship at? The Reality Stage

What is it?

This is the post-honeymoon stage, the cycle where you start to nit-pick and bicker realising that your 'perfect' lover is not so perfect after all. It's still love but with the romantic edges rubbed off.

The good news

No matter how many times you are at this stage, it will help you to define and redefine your relationship. Not only will it help you move to a deeper stage of understanding but also with all the lust out of the equation, it can help you to confirm the real reasons why you want to be with each other.

The bad news

You may find your negative thoughts a little nerve-wracking and might start to think that you're not right for each other.

If you do feel this way, don't do anything hasty. 'All that's happening', says Tracey Cox, 'is you are reconciling your glorified image of this person from the romantic phase with a more realistic view of who he is and how you fit together.'

You'll know you're moving on...

The good news is you're ready for the next and more committed cycle when it hits you that faults and all, you love this man for who he is.

What stage is your relationship at? The Romance Stage

What is it?

We're talking goofy grins, soppy texts, sexy underwear and spontaneous sex, yes you're in the hearts and roses stage of your relationship and things couldn't be better.

The good news

Right now you can't get enough of each other. You want to gaze adoringly into each other's eyes, and think willingly about each other 24/7, which is good news for your intimacy and connection levels and fantastic news for the longevity of your relationship.

The bad news

'This is an OTT phase', warns relationship expert Tracey Cox and author of Hot Relationships (Corgi) so you tend to overlook each other's shortcomings. 'No matter how long you've been together, this can later lead to difficulties in your relationship as you willingly skim over potential problems.'

The answer, says Tracey, 'is to enjoy letting your heart rule your head for a while but don't make any rash decisions that you could later regret.'

You'll know you're moving on...

The next part of the cycle will be on its way when the urge for a bit of time apart keeps entering your head. However, don't mourn the romance cycle passing, it'll be back before you know it.

Mar 10, 2009

How To Cope With a Break Up

After you feel like you've taken enough time to gather your thoughts and emotions, don't be afraid to get back into the scene- dating, going out or whatever that may be. It's normal to feel the need for "alone time" right after a break up. Just be sure not to isolate yourself
for too long. Try going out and meeting new people when you feel ready. By doing this, you're not discounting your old relationship or ignoring the fact that you may need closure or time to heal; you're simply starting the process of moving on.

Break Up Rules

What Not To Do After A Break Up

There are a couple of significant mistakes that a lot of newly-single people make after a break up that prolong their pain and suffering. Follow these break up rules to assist you to find peace with the end of your relationship and avoid what not to do after a break up.

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.

2. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.

3. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.

4. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.

5. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

Mar 8, 2009

What Lies Behind Online Dating System

One of the many thriving businesses over the internet is online dating. It is imperative that online dating can be found everywhere, though, not everyone sees the obvious. Social marketing is a broader type of socialization and dating can be derived from this fun and social online community.

But, one would come to think of the real procedures behind online dating. What really goes behind the matchmaking system that online dating websites had dared to offer to billions of users?

Most people would really go for online dating websites that allow registration for free. But of course, free or not, a personal information is asked from signees. This is where the matchmaking wonder starts. The basics though, in terms of searching for potential dating partners, is based on location, age range and gender.
Along with the three mentioned above, a profile picture is required too. In looking for a potential partner whether it is online or not, an individual most likely responds to somebody who is pleasing to one’s sight. Although, this is of course, not a permanent discretion in the process of liking someone which often leads to dating.

Online dating works conveniently to people who want to meet individuals that make it to their interest range. But the ground in finding a potential mate is actually based to what all the other users of an online dating website provides – and that is the availability of information.

What helps also are websites that cater to this type of services do not have any limitation to time. One can get to know another individual as long as his or her own personal time allows it. There is no pressure with time, really, if it’s for free but if not, don’t forget to watch those bills monthly.

To round them all up, the information provided by each individual for another to look into is significant in building a relationship with someone. The real essence of selecting an invidual one has actually liked, lies in the bonding stage, understanding and respect of both party’s views.

It may seem like a huge task as it requires time and effort, but, if you are genuinely in the lookout for a potential life partner, online dating websites could just be the thing that you need now.

5 Steps to great online dating

1. What are you looking for?

One of the great things about the internet is its variety. If you want to meet someone on the internet, first decide who or what you are looking for. Do you want a date, a sexual encounter, a cyber-affair? Are you looking for a gorgeous model with little intelligence or a deep thinking philosophy major? Every type you could possibly think of is out there. You need to decide what type of site you are going to visit so you can prepare yourself for the type of responses you will get.

2. Set up your profile
Once you have found the right site, the next thing you need to do is set up an attractive profile to get noticed. Remember to add a photo of yourself. Studies have shown that profiles with photos get at least five times more responses than those without photos. You should fill in all your basic information like height, eye coulour, hobbies etc. as this gives a potential mate an idea of who you are. I believe that when you fill in a write up about yourself though, you shouldn’t give away everything about yourself. You need to create a bit of mystery to capture someones interest.

3. Conduct a search

Once you are happy with your profile, its time to start searching for someone to contact. Most dating sites have powerful searching functions with many options. I prefer not being too specific as you want to keep your options open. Try to find profiles which seem honest and realistic. A lot of people set up false profiles with false information about themselves and even false pics of themselves. After a while, you will learn to tell the honest from the dishonest profiles. Also be aware of scams. A lot of scammers set up profiles to lure you into getting money out of you.

4. Contact someone

By now, you have run a search and found someone you think is worth contacting. The first step is to break the ice. You don’t want to give someone your whole life story and you also don’t want to be too forward or come across as desperate. A lot of dating sites have short instant messages you can send. This is an automated message that just says something along the lines of “hi, I think you’re cute, want to chat?” These are a great idea as the person you’re contacting can look at your profile at their leisure and decide whether to contact you or not. Once you have broken the ice, send someone another mail with a bit more info about yourself and slowly establish trust and you’re on your way.

5. Things to remember

People all respond to a sense of humour. Never be too serious to start with. It’s a good idea to be a little cocky sometimes as people like a challenge. Try and keep someone guessing. A mysterious person is a lot more interesting than someone who lays out their whole life story before a prospective mate.

Have fun and good luck…

Mar 5, 2009

What Do Women Like About Men

With all of the advice online, which is best for attracting the opposite sex? Can I really trust this advice? If the subject is about attracting the opposite sex, we can refer to the science of evolution to get our answers.

Let's just put aside for the moment what women are telling us about what they're looking for in a man. Instead, we will simply observe their actual choices for a mate. The contrast between what they say they want and their actual choices is revealing.

There are women who say they want a man who listens to and appreciates what they have to say. But then go out with guys that dominate the conversation. Some women say they would like a gentle and kind man. But they'll date a guy who's got big muscles or perhaps has a lot of money.
Why all the discrepancies between what they say they would like and their actual choices? This paradox can be understood if you understand the true nature of attraction and how evolution has wired it into us.

First you need to know that attraction is not a thing that you have much control over. Women and men have very little if any control over the 'chemistry' of attraction. It's completely instinctual and was wired into us by evolution for reproductive reasons.

Men are interested in women who are in good health and are fertile. This is the reason why women who are youthful with curves of a certain proportion tend be favored by most men. Youth and a shapely body indicate high fertility. Some guys might say that they're more interested in other qualities, but their baser instincts drive them toward fertile women.

With sexual attraction, women too are governed by some very basic instincts. Women are drawn to men that can ensure the survival of their children. Thus they are attracted to strong and vigorous men who have a high status. A man of high status who is fit is a better provider than a weak man of low status.
The men with status are usually the leaders who exhibit great confidence. They are known as alpha males or the 'real men' that women refer to. So this is why power and big muscles will always beat niceness or the good listener every time.

When all of humanity where hunter/gatherers, listening to our women or even being nice to them wasn't essential for survival. What truly mattered more than all else was having the vigor and confidence to bring home the bacon. Only these qualities made a man successful at providing for his family.
Now you know why nice guys have no sex appeal. Or men that have no backbone and are unable to take charge. These are not attractive attributes in a man.

Today, having big muscles isn't all that essential if you're able to project strength and vitality. This can be done by the clothing that you choose to wear, the way you walk, and your level of physical fitness. Strength is also conveyed in how you act. A wuss is not sexy.

Many would say that the qualities of an attractive man are shallow. And in a way, that's correct. But keep in mind that sexual attraction is also a shallow thing. It's very old, primitive, and basic. It's a potent force that drives us all and has ensured the proliferation of our species.

While women are drawn by the qualities described here, these qualities aren't much good for keeping a relationship strong for the long term. But that's another topic. Before a relationship is possible though, you will have to attract someone first.

Mar 2, 2009

Dating Tips For Women In Relationships: How To Attract A Man?

I have never had a boyfriend. I used to make an effort when I was younger but I made such a mess of things that I just came to the conclusion that I was useless with men.

I now think that I am simply not good enough to attract anybody. The thing is I have loads of male friends and I go out quite a lot with them. With these thoughts I know there is no way I would ever ask a man out. I couldn't imagine a man wanting to be with me. How can I stop thinking so negatively?

Dating Tips For Women In Relationships: How To  Attract A Man?

Dating men: avoid ending up in a friend zone

For average looking girls the dating game is a "numbers game". You have to get confident approaching men in the only possible way: approaching a lot of men. And of course, be prepared to accept a lot of rejection.

Expect to get rejected by at least 3 men before getting the first positive results. Most of them will also accept casual chatter, a drink or coffee date with you but end up in a friend zone.

Signs showing whether a man is interested with you

When a man says you "Let Just Be Friends" he is actually saying "You don't turn me on and will NEVER have sex with me" in a nice way. Rejection is an odd thing. It's good because it means you're actually doing something in the right direction instead of feeling powerless and hopeless.

But it may cause you several undesirable feelings ranging from a slight embarrassment to a crushed self-esteem. The only way to get over those feelings is to experience it over and over again.

Shy women approaching and courting men

Bottom line: Quite frankly, rejection never got easier to absorb. If anything, for the most part, what ever self esteem I had worked hard to build up, was chipped away by all the rejections. The best thing for shy girls here to do is to try and establish a good deal amount of friendships with as many people as possible, of both sexes, and try to network your way into a relationship.

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