Feb 21, 2009
Steps To Recover From A Breakup
Are you involved in a breakup right now and want to know what steps you can take to recover from a breakup? Are you experiencing any of the following feelings- you hurt so bad that your heart aches; you want to see your ex so badly but at the same time you are so angry you are afraid of what you'll do to them if you do see them; you want to just break free and go crazy but you feel so bad that you can't seem to do anything. These are all normal reactions to a breakup. There are steps to recover from a breakup that you can follow that will help gradually ease your pain.
The first thing that you can do is write a letter to your ex. In this letter you are going to let all of your emotions out. Tell him or her exactly how you feel. How much you love them, hate them, etc. Don't hold back - let it all out on paper. Be as emotional and honest as you want or need to be because your ex is never going to see this letter. Burn it when you are done. They do it in the Soap Operas all the time - except someone usually finds the letter anyway! Don't let that happen. Make sure your burn every inch of it. Of all the steps to recover from a breakup this can be very powerful.
The next step to recover from a breakup is to exchange the stuff that you have shared. If you've been in the relationship for any length of time then your ex likely has things of yours and you have things of theirs. Arrange a time where you can meet and make the switch. No strings attached, no date implied. Simply exchange goods, be cordial and go on your way. If you have things that you aren't going to give back then box them up or throw them away. Don't leave reminders lying around that you don't need.
What about gifts that your ex gave you? In the steps to recover from a breakup it is a good idea to box these things up. How can you get over your ex if you are looking at the watch he or she bought you several times a day? Box them up, donate them or give them away.
Another difficult aspect in getting over a breakup is settling financial matters. If you owe your ex money try to pay them as soon as you can. If they owe you money try to collect quickly. If their is a mutual checking or savings account come a mutual agreement of how you will divide the funds up then act on it right away. Money can be a sticky situation when a relationship ends. Often times your ex will use it against you just to make the situation harder on you. If there is a substantial sum you may have to get a lawyer involved. If it's not a great amount and you can do without it it may be better to simply walk away.
Once you've completed those steps to recover from a breakup you need to distance yourselves from each other. Give yourselves at least 30 days of no contact at all. This includes phones, texts, emails or "accidental meetings." Avoid common places that you used to go as well. Isolate yourselves from each other. This will allow you to start rebuilding your lives. This is a difficult time so you must give yourself space in order to get over the breakup.